Chapter 2 - Fuck Yes, Brunch

Pooh sat at the dining room table, clutching his coffee, eyes closed. "I've got to get my rumbly tumbly belly in shape," he thought. The late nights, the doe-eyed doe hoes, the vodka, his tree stump hovel where he couldn't even get his landlord to come fix the radiator…

He had to get it under control. This was no way to live.

His phone rang. SO LOUD. Piglet.

"Hey Pooh - wanna grab brunch with Christopher Robin and Roo?" Piglet asked.

Suddenly, Pooh felt a rumbly in his rather sizable tumbly. "Bloody Marys. There will be Bloody Marys at brunch," he thought. He also thought Roo to be a bit of a whiner, but what was one to expect with a helicopter mom like Kanga bouncing around all the time?"

Fuck yes, brunch," Pooh replied. He pulled on his favorite red t-shirt -- the one that used to come down to his waist but was now more a midriff-skimming discard from RuPaul’s Drag Race. "See you at the Honey Pot in 20."

He'd start his diet tomorrow. And he'd buy a new t-shirt on the way home, too.