Chapter 6 - The Dress

Pooh was putting the finishing touches on the spread for the afternoon shindig at his tree stump. Fresh guac -- he really enjoyed fresh guac. And granted, it wasn't honey, but he dug it anywhoo. A few six packs. A bottle or two of Pellegrino, especially since Eyore wasn't a big drinker anymore. Everyone was coming over -- Piglet, Kanga and Roo, Christopher Robin, Tigger, Owl, Eyore, and Rabbit. It had been a long time since Pooh had had his friends over.

And he was excited. It was high time he stop wallowing and start living – and friends always come first. He was sad he’d forgotten that.

One by one, the knocks on the door came. His guests rolled in. Owl even brought an Entenmann's danish, which was exceptionally thoughtful, thought Pooh. Tigger was into beer two before Piglet could count to two. Eyore was grazing on the sweet potato chips. Pooh had to admit that life had a fair sight gotten better since Trader Joe's had opened a few forest paths down, even though parking was an absolute bitch.

The party was in full swing and Pooh just thought wow. My friends, my house. I’ve even got a gal. His fuzzy heart was definitely a full motherfucker right now.

Just as Tigger launched from the sofa to the kitchen in a single bounce, there was one more knock, knock, knock on the door. Pooh opened the door and there stood Christopher Robin.

In a dress. 

Pooh titled his head to the side a bit. The dress was a lovely shade of blue and complimented Christopher Robin’s eyes nicely. Pooh thought it made him look like a walking piece of sky. And Pooh quite liked the sky.

Christopher Robin stepped inside and the room fell quiet. Even Eyore stopped grazing in the chips long enough to turn, stare at Christopher Robin for a moment, and sigh before dropping his nose right back down into the guacamole bowl.

Piglet put his little hooves to his cheeks.

“Oh, Christopher Robin — I didn’t know this was a costume party!” said Piglet.

“It’s not, Piglet,” said Christopher Robin. “I just like wearing dresses.”

“But you’re a boy,” said Piglet, wringing his hooves. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What will people think?” 

It was at this time Kanga hopped in front of Roo, shielding her son from Christopher Robin’s dress-draped self.

“I don’t much care what people think, Piglet. I like dresses. Have you ever tried one? They’re much more comfortable than shorts,” said Christopher Robin.

And Piglet looked down and realized that all he’d ever worn was this little green onesie. He’d never, ever thought of a dress.

“But I’m a boy and boys wear pants,” said Piglet. “You’re a boy and now you look like a girl.”

Eyore had sauntered over, his pinned-on tail gently swaying behind him. He stood next to Christopher Robin and sniffed him up and down.

“No, I don’t like it. It smells like Christopher Robin but it doesn’t look like Christopher Robin,” said Eyore. He sauntered back to his chip bowl.

And in the background, Owl and Rabbit had retreated to the far reaches of the inside of Pooh’s tree stump.

And Pooh just sat there, staring at his friends. He was hosting a party and no one was having fun anymore because Christopher Robin was wearing a dress.

Well, that just wouldn’t do.

So Pooh went over to where Christopher Robin stood, dragging his favorite little three-legged stool behind him. He placed his stool right next to Christopher Robin and sat right down. With a beer in one paw and a salsa covered chip in the other, he looked up at his friend Christopher Robin.

“Hello, Christopher Robin,” said Pooh.

“Hello, Pooh,” Christopher Robin said.

“I don’t know much about dresses,” said Pooh, “but I have this new shirt and it makes me feel like a swank ass bear.”

“I like your new shirt, Pooh,” said Christopher Robin.

“Thank you,” said Pooh. “Does your dress make you feel swank?”

Christopher Robin gazed at Pooh. A moment later, he put his hands on his hips and let a smile creep onto his face.

“You know, Pooh,” said Christopher Robin, “Now that you mention it, yes. I do feel quite swank.”

Pooh took a bite of chip and washed it back with a swig of beer. He nodded.

“Then I like your dress,” said Pooh. “I think the best we can do is hope that our friends have more days where they feel swank than those where they feel blustery and piddly-diddly.”

Pooh smiled up at Christopher Robin and Christopher Robin smiled down at Pooh.

Pooh looked around his tree stump house at his friends and simply said:

“And if there’s anyone here who doesn’t like Christopher Robin in his swank dress, they can get the fuck out of my house. Because if there’s one thing my bear heart knows, it’s that Christopher Robin is still Christopher Robin. A friendship lives on the inside. Not on the outside.”